cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
