Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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