oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
