I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
