I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
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