Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize