i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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