If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
