We won't sleep together?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
