My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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