how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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