Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
