Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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