Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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