I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize