I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
