At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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