Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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