she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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