just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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