im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
