She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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