so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
