Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
