I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
