so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
