i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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