ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
