does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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