I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
