____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
