it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
