I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
