I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
