my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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