sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
