Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
