Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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