I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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