Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
