I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Randomize
