I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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