Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
