omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
