I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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