Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
