we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize