I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
