How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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