Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
