I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
