i don't like sucking hair
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
