I must be too annoying 4 u.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
