I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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