Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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