go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
