I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
