As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
