"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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