Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize