please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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