Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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