im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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