She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize